My Kink is NOT a Competition

I love the BDSM community. Most of the time they are open and accepting of each others kinks. They are willing to teach and share knowledge that they have. However, this community seems to have an on-going need to "compete" with each others. 

You hear D-types talking about how much pain their s-types can take. You see s-types comparing impact marks. All of this like it makes you a lesser Dom if your sub is not a pain slut or you are a lesser slave because you are not bleeding at the end of a scene. 

I hold no ill will to those that enjoy extreme -fill in the blank-. I hold no ill will to those that never leave any trace. There have been many play sessions in which Master has marked me up and there have been many when an hour later there are no signs. It is NOT indicative of  how intense our playing was. Or how Mastery or slavey I am. I don't need to compete with others.  

As a general rule I think that many come into this lifestyle trying to see how far they can go. Which is fine, but when they find certain aspects that they don't enjoy, they are afraid to speak up. They are not subby enough or Masterly enough. The beauty that seems to be missed so often about this lifestyle is it is all about balance. You find the partner(s) that fit the best. So yes, a sadist may need a good masochist, but every sub does not need to be one. 

Find your kink and be happy with it. Only you have to live with what it makes you.