Showing posts with label submission. Show all posts
Showing posts with label submission. Show all posts
Friday, April 25, 2014
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
Submission... What Is It?
dictionary.com has the definition as:
When giving the gift of submission to another person, that takes on another meaning all together. Anybody can say they are submissive and obey the orders of a Dom(mes). However, for true submission, it has to begin in their heart. The desire to do what is desired of them. Not just going through the motions, but following rules and direction because it pleases their Dom.
It is not enough to follow what is told to you. It is that desire to follow them for the pleasure of the Dominant.
A very simplistic example is that many people have the task to make the evening meal. This is not just in D/s relationships, but in everyday relationships - kink or no kink. For many it is just a task that has to get done, and they are the one that chose/are in the position to do it. For those who have this a task of their submission, it is something that is often done with a light heart and a smile because they are bringing comfort and pride to their Master.
Yes, yes, I know... D/s is not all about what kind of household chores can your Dom(mes) make you do. But to truly break down true submission, you need to see the picture for what it is. It is giving up your will for the will of another with joy in your heart. Their happiness, their pleasure then becomes your own when you truly immerse yourself in that submission.
Most D/s relationships have some sort of protocol. Some have kneeling, some call their Dom(mes) Sir, Ma'am, Master or Mistress. Some kiss the ground or their Dom(mes) feet when they get home... but some protocols are much more subtle, but just as powerful. While they may sit at the same time as their family, they won't take a bite till their Master takes a bite. They may let them pick out their everyday (non-kink) clothes.
If simply following directions was all that is need for a good submissive, then none of the above would be needed. These types of displays show that their heart and not just their mind are submissive.
Like anything else worth having... giving your total submission is not easy. It takes work and constant maintenance. It is a labor of love - but the rewards are so satisfying. It is not a gift to give lightly, and not to just anybody, but when it is done with the right person, there is no doubt that submission is it own treasure
2
: the condition of being submissive, humble, or compliant
3
: an act of submitting to the authority or control of another
When giving the gift of submission to another person, that takes on another meaning all together. Anybody can say they are submissive and obey the orders of a Dom(mes). However, for true submission, it has to begin in their heart. The desire to do what is desired of them. Not just going through the motions, but following rules and direction because it pleases their Dom.
It is not enough to follow what is told to you. It is that desire to follow them for the pleasure of the Dominant.
A very simplistic example is that many people have the task to make the evening meal. This is not just in D/s relationships, but in everyday relationships - kink or no kink. For many it is just a task that has to get done, and they are the one that chose/are in the position to do it. For those who have this a task of their submission, it is something that is often done with a light heart and a smile because they are bringing comfort and pride to their Master.
Yes, yes, I know... D/s is not all about what kind of household chores can your Dom(mes) make you do. But to truly break down true submission, you need to see the picture for what it is. It is giving up your will for the will of another with joy in your heart. Their happiness, their pleasure then becomes your own when you truly immerse yourself in that submission.
Most D/s relationships have some sort of protocol. Some have kneeling, some call their Dom(mes) Sir, Ma'am, Master or Mistress. Some kiss the ground or their Dom(mes) feet when they get home... but some protocols are much more subtle, but just as powerful. While they may sit at the same time as their family, they won't take a bite till their Master takes a bite. They may let them pick out their everyday (non-kink) clothes.
If simply following directions was all that is need for a good submissive, then none of the above would be needed. These types of displays show that their heart and not just their mind are submissive.
Like anything else worth having... giving your total submission is not easy. It takes work and constant maintenance. It is a labor of love - but the rewards are so satisfying. It is not a gift to give lightly, and not to just anybody, but when it is done with the right person, there is no doubt that submission is it own treasure
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
The Journal
In choosing a life where you give submission to another communication is the key. Yes, you hear this over and over and over again. I am a big proponent of different venues of communication. However, here is the key to most traditional forms of communication in a dominant-submissive relations - it is subject to the contract, rules, and expectations of the D/s dynamic. This is where one very important window into the submissive's head and heart that is often looked over... her Journal.
Wait what? The Dom reads her journal? Absolutely.
Anybody considering a relationship with Power Exchange should be keeping one, especially the submissive. This should be her safe place - to say to think whatever with NO repercussions. This is where she is writing about what is on her mind. There is no requirement for the Dom to change anything, but it helps him to understand better how his sub thinks. Sometimes it will be obvious when something is wrong. She may be as blunt to say "I think my Dom is wrong" "My Dom upset me today" "I am unhappy with .... ". These are fantastic pieces of information for the Dom. Then sometimes it will be more subtle. What are the topics she is writing about, what is she not writing about, what is the tone of the writing and how is the journal changing. This can actually go both ways... showing she is completely happy and content or that something is going vastly wrong.
This points to the fact that she should be journaling regularly, in most cases everyday. She should be spending a few minutes to be sure this is done appropriately. It doesn't have to be long, just a check in. All Doms should make sure that they allow for this and the time to do it appropriately. Some days it will only take a couple minutes. Other days it might take an hour. Take the time it needs each day to write what needs to be written.
One of the most heard complaint about a sub journaling is that her Dom will read it. They feel like it is an invasion of privacy or feel like they don't trust them enough. While those seem like valid complaints and concerns, consider the life you are requesting with your Dom. You are giving him your complete submission (within the boundaries of your contract) with the expectation that he is going to take responsibility of you. If you don't trust him to know what you are are thinking and feeling, then how can he take care of you?
Doms need to know that despite whatever they read in their subs journal, this is their safe place. It can be easy to get angered or upset by what they read. But if they make the mistake of punishing their sub (in any way) for what is written, they will shut down that form of valuable communication. Doms should be sure not to abuse this gift from their sub.
Now for the fun part of journaling... it will allow you to look back over your journey... in 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, etc and see how it has changed. To see what you have learned about yourself, your Dom and your relationship.
Good Luck.... Don't forget to Journal
Wait what? The Dom reads her journal? Absolutely.
Anybody considering a relationship with Power Exchange should be keeping one, especially the submissive. This should be her safe place - to say to think whatever with NO repercussions. This is where she is writing about what is on her mind. There is no requirement for the Dom to change anything, but it helps him to understand better how his sub thinks. Sometimes it will be obvious when something is wrong. She may be as blunt to say "I think my Dom is wrong" "My Dom upset me today" "I am unhappy with .... ". These are fantastic pieces of information for the Dom. Then sometimes it will be more subtle. What are the topics she is writing about, what is she not writing about, what is the tone of the writing and how is the journal changing. This can actually go both ways... showing she is completely happy and content or that something is going vastly wrong.
This points to the fact that she should be journaling regularly, in most cases everyday. She should be spending a few minutes to be sure this is done appropriately. It doesn't have to be long, just a check in. All Doms should make sure that they allow for this and the time to do it appropriately. Some days it will only take a couple minutes. Other days it might take an hour. Take the time it needs each day to write what needs to be written.
One of the most heard complaint about a sub journaling is that her Dom will read it. They feel like it is an invasion of privacy or feel like they don't trust them enough. While those seem like valid complaints and concerns, consider the life you are requesting with your Dom. You are giving him your complete submission (within the boundaries of your contract) with the expectation that he is going to take responsibility of you. If you don't trust him to know what you are are thinking and feeling, then how can he take care of you?
Doms need to know that despite whatever they read in their subs journal, this is their safe place. It can be easy to get angered or upset by what they read. But if they make the mistake of punishing their sub (in any way) for what is written, they will shut down that form of valuable communication. Doms should be sure not to abuse this gift from their sub.
Now for the fun part of journaling... it will allow you to look back over your journey... in 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, etc and see how it has changed. To see what you have learned about yourself, your Dom and your relationship.
Good Luck.... Don't forget to Journal
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