My Slave Heart Doesn't Understand...

Most everybody has seen the spreadsheet that a husband sent to his wife about their lack of sex.



There is much debate about who is right and wrong and what is the problem. You are probably wondering "What does this have to do with a Master/slave relationship"?

In (most) M/s relationships, this would never happen. There are a couple reasons for this.

1- From the "M" side of a relationship if s/he wants sex. They have sex. There is none of this bologna and excuses to why the don't want to. They say... slave does - hopefully happy to be of use to their Master.

2 - From the "s" side of the relationship they want to please their Master (Mistress), so they don't make excuses.  If there is an actual problem, they should be addressing it whatever protocol manner they have established for communicating (and I am fairly sure that this passive aggressive manner would be unacceptable in most situations)

3 - M/s (D/s) intimate relationships seem to actually accept that sex is an important part of a relationship. This excludes those relationships that are not intentionally non-sexual. I have never met a M/s couple - regardless of how long they have been together, regardless of how old they are - that doesn't have sex on a regular basis. I do accept that this is anecdotal evidence, but something to take note of.

It actually boils down to communication. To have a successful  M/s relationship honest clear communication is necessary. It seems as if theirs broke down a long time ago.

Vacationing with Family

My Master and I are fairly new to living this lifestyle 24/7. That being said we have transitioned fairly comfortably to our rituals and expectations when we are at home. We have very few hiccups and know how things run.

Nothing challenges a status quo like a family vacation. I am not talking about Master and I going somewhere with just our children, I mean us going on vacation that is essentially a family reunion with his extended family. family. Did I mention we were camping for this 10 days to add to the ... chaos. 

Our first great long preponderance was whether I was going to wear my collar. There was just enough concern on our part whether it would be recognized for what it was, but without the understanding of what it truly meant.  He decided to leave it on, with the caviot if it became speculation we would remove it and figure out what I would wear. The good news is nobody remarked on it. 

What we didn't really discuss, and really should have, was how we were going to handle the interuption of rituals and such. At home it is easy. I call him Sir when the kids are awake (but not in their presence) and Master when they are asleep. I wear my leash from their bedtime to mine. I sit on the floor most of the time during TV/movie/game time (sometimes even when the kids are awake). I kneel at his feet in front of His bed in the morning and night and sometimes in the late afternoon. I get in the car after Him. I walk half a step behind him. I wait to eat till he starts. None of this is that unusual ... till it has a wrench thrown in it. 

There was never a time when we were really alone while we were awake, so titles went out the window. It was going to cause a lot of questions if I sat at his feet... especially since it rained 75% of the time we were there. Kneeling became difficult because lets face it.. our tent was not huge and it was on the ground. Made it uncomfortable for us both. And these are just some of the explanation. 

The reality is many of our rituals and protocols depended on some quiet alone time we were so used to. And while we were prepared for the one off situations, we were not prepared for an extended period of time for it to not be in place.

It was a good learning experience. Things to know how we can handle things differently. To make me feel more owned.

I am always curious how other couples/families who are in a D/s relationship handles such situations. 

Kids and D/s

I do not claim to be an expert at this, in fact I claim a lot of ignorance and have much to learn about this lifestyle.

What I do claim is that I am a good mother. Of all the things I have done in my life, being a good mother is one of the things I take pride in. 

Which brings me to how we live day to day with our kids in the house. I will admit, it would be easier if they were all under 2. I will admit I am lucky that the youngest one only has a year left in elementary school. However, with pre-teens and teens in the house they start to watch how their parents behave. 

Part of our contract does state that He will not exhibit overt dominance in front of the children.  He is very good about that, but that doesn't mean that they may not notice how I walk a step behind him. Or that I typically tack on "if you don't mind" to the end of many of my plans when they are there. Or that I don't sit and eat until He does. When they notice little nuances we pass many things off simple "respect" because much of it can be summed up as that. 

Or maybe it is all in my mind. I always assume that my kids notice things (which I have been shown time and time again is not always true). Who knows. I do know that I will always encourage my children to find their own path. So when they are actually old enough to understand why their parents act differently than their friends parents will we talk to them about it... maybe. However, like any other "lifestyle" there is out there, it is not for everybody. I don't think D/s relationships are the only way. Just like I don't think "vanilla" relationships are for everybody (I hate the term vanilla).  The only thing that is important to me at the end of the day they are happy and healthy.

Their parents in a strong committed relationship that works for them allows for a happy healthy environment for our children. 

Now... just how to answer the question my son posed last night... "why is there a lock on your necklace". 

~smiles~