Safewords. This should be something all people in the BDSM community should be familiar with and know how to use appropriately. This is probably one of the most important pieces of this type of play and lifestyles.Many people are used to the idea of "Red" and similar safewords, the ones that indicate "stop everything now". Many people are even someone what familiar with "Yellow" and similar words, but what does that mean exactly... and what should be done when it is called?
Yellow (for the purpose of this post we are going to use this, but feel free to put in your word of choice) typically is said to mean "slow down". Well this is so varying what exactly that means. There are even some tops and dominants that don't believe in this type of safeword. But there is a beauty to this for all involved.
Now, here comes the point of contention between my Master and I. He feels I should be happy and willing to use safe words. I, have come to feel that I should not use safewords.
Now I can see many people nodding, and some people gasping in horror at this concept. So let me step back and explain my point of view as well as that of my Masters, for I am sure this is usually backwards than when there is the disagreement.
My Master believes that if I am willing to say something when there is a problem, that he can relax and do anything he wants to me and know I will stop him if my body or mind cannot take anymore. He feels like I will take responsibility for taking care of myself in an intense situation.
Now my position. It is not for me to decide if my Master has gone too far. I will not stop him from doing anything he wants to me, despite it causing distress of any sort.
Now, if I was playing with another dominant or top, I would absolutely use safewords appropriately. It is not the aversion or the beliefs that they can't or shouldn't be used. I just think the necessity of using them often changes with the relationship.
