My Slave Heart Doesn't Understand...

Most everybody has seen the spreadsheet that a husband sent to his wife about their lack of sex.



There is much debate about who is right and wrong and what is the problem. You are probably wondering "What does this have to do with a Master/slave relationship"?

In (most) M/s relationships, this would never happen. There are a couple reasons for this.

1- From the "M" side of a relationship if s/he wants sex. They have sex. There is none of this bologna and excuses to why the don't want to. They say... slave does - hopefully happy to be of use to their Master.

2 - From the "s" side of the relationship they want to please their Master (Mistress), so they don't make excuses.  If there is an actual problem, they should be addressing it whatever protocol manner they have established for communicating (and I am fairly sure that this passive aggressive manner would be unacceptable in most situations)

3 - M/s (D/s) intimate relationships seem to actually accept that sex is an important part of a relationship. This excludes those relationships that are not intentionally non-sexual. I have never met a M/s couple - regardless of how long they have been together, regardless of how old they are - that doesn't have sex on a regular basis. I do accept that this is anecdotal evidence, but something to take note of.

It actually boils down to communication. To have a successful  M/s relationship honest clear communication is necessary. It seems as if theirs broke down a long time ago.

The best feeling in the world...

Collarme... Gone

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I am a Top!

... well not really.

While not intimately a D/s or M/s relationship piece, often times we do incorporate different styles of BDSM into our play. Not surprising, I typically find that I enjoy being the bottom of most of this type of play.

This weekend we went to a semi-local (not really) BDSM event. There were several classes and plenty of dungeon time in which we could watch other kinky people performing their arts.

One of the classes I attended was a fabulous class on temporary branding with a Violet Wand. I was so excited for this class - you might remember that a Violet Wand is on my wish list. I went totally with the mindset that I wanted to possibly be branded with one. I came out realizing I totally want to do that to people. I want to do short term (6-18 mos) branding.

I am all kinds of excited. Master is kind of excited to as he has never really seen me this amped up over the idea of topping a scene like that.

I will wear the collar...

My Kink is NOT a Competition

I love the BDSM community. Most of the time they are open and accepting of each others kinks. They are willing to teach and share knowledge that they have. However, this community seems to have an on-going need to "compete" with each others. 

You hear D-types talking about how much pain their s-types can take. You see s-types comparing impact marks. All of this like it makes you a lesser Dom if your sub is not a pain slut or you are a lesser slave because you are not bleeding at the end of a scene. 

I hold no ill will to those that enjoy extreme -fill in the blank-. I hold no ill will to those that never leave any trace. There have been many play sessions in which Master has marked me up and there have been many when an hour later there are no signs. It is NOT indicative of  how intense our playing was. Or how Mastery or slavey I am. I don't need to compete with others.  

As a general rule I think that many come into this lifestyle trying to see how far they can go. Which is fine, but when they find certain aspects that they don't enjoy, they are afraid to speak up. They are not subby enough or Masterly enough. The beauty that seems to be missed so often about this lifestyle is it is all about balance. You find the partner(s) that fit the best. So yes, a sadist may need a good masochist, but every sub does not need to be one. 

Find your kink and be happy with it. Only you have to live with what it makes you.

The true beauty...