The Journal

In choosing a life where you give submission to another communication is the key. Yes, you hear this over and over and over again. I am a big proponent of different venues of communication. However, here is the key to most traditional forms of communication in a dominant-submissive relations - it is subject to the contract, rules, and expectations of the D/s dynamic. This is where one very important window into the submissive's head and heart that is often looked over... her Journal.

Wait what? The Dom reads her journal? Absolutely.  

Anybody considering a relationship with Power Exchange should be keeping one, especially the submissive. This should be her safe place - to say to think whatever with NO repercussions. This is where she is writing about what is on her mind. There is no requirement for the Dom to change anything, but it helps him to understand better how his sub thinks.  Sometimes it will be obvious when something is wrong. She may be as blunt to say "I think my Dom is wrong" "My Dom upset me today" "I am unhappy with .... ". These are fantastic pieces of information for the Dom. Then sometimes it will be more subtle. What are the topics she is writing about, what is she not writing about, what is the tone of the writing and how is the journal changing. This can actually go both ways... showing she is completely happy and content or that something is going vastly wrong.

This points to the fact that she should be journaling regularly, in most cases everyday. She should be spending a few minutes to be sure this is done appropriately. It doesn't have to be long, just a check in. All Doms should make sure that they allow for this and the time to do it appropriately. Some days it will only take a couple minutes. Other days it might take an hour. Take the time it needs each day to write what needs to be written.

One of the most heard complaint about a sub journaling is that her Dom will read it. They feel like it is an invasion of privacy or feel like they don't trust them enough. While those seem like valid complaints and concerns, consider the life you are requesting with your Dom. You are giving him your complete submission (within the boundaries of your contract) with the expectation that he is going to take responsibility of you. If you don't trust him to know what you are are thinking and feeling, then how can he take care of you?

Doms need to know that despite whatever they read in their subs journal, this is their safe place. It can be easy to get angered or upset by what they read. But if they make the mistake of punishing their sub (in any way) for what is written, they will shut down that form of valuable communication. Doms should be sure not to abuse this gift from their sub.

Now for the fun part of journaling... it will allow you to look back over your journey... in 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, etc and see how it has changed. To see what you have learned about yourself, your Dom and your relationship.

Good Luck.... Don't forget to Journal