Collars

If you read long enough, you run into essays scolding how easy collars are put on and taken off. It is often referred to as a Velcro collar. If you keep reading you will read about how long it should take to get a collar and anything less is not taking it seriously. 

When talking about D/s or M/s relationships you inevitably run into the topic of collars.  For the purpose of this post, we are not talking about protection collars and such... just formal collars.


I read all of this and cry Bull Shit.

And here is why.

When I did my research on collars I likened it to an wedding ring. Whether there is or is not the same level of  commitment... some of that is just a sign of the times. However, as an over all statement, I don't think "time" is a indication of a level of commitment.

Master and I got engaged within 3 months of KNOWING each other and while we lived in different states.  Moved in together 3 months later. Got married almost a year and a half later (trust me it would have been sooner, we just had some outside issues that had to be resolved before we could). We will be celebrating our 6 year anniversary this month.

So the argument of there being a specific time has to be in place for a commitment doesn't fly for me.

And... what works for me may not work for you. Some people need that necessary time.

Having said all this, when Master and I entered into our D/s relationship, he did NOT present me with a collar the next day. Or the next week. Despite being married for 5 years, this was still another commitment. One that we were not taking for granted just because we were married. We decided years ago to get married based on one set of criteria. We were going to decide on a collar on another set.


Since then I have received my collar. I love my collar. He loves my collar. It is a commitment we both understand clearly. I wear my wedding ring understanding the commitment behind it and wear my collar understanding the commitment behind it. They are both very different and unique commitments we take very seriously.